How do I interpret his offer? Do I come across as a schnorrer if I say yes, I do happen to be running low, and could I now take advantage of his generous offer? The product is not cheap, so a discount would be welcome. I probably would only do it once, but even so: Is an offer always an offer, or is it sometimes just someone being polite?
Anyone who works in retail is generally given strict specifications about the discounts that can be offered. Miss Manners therefore thinks you can politely take this man at his word:
“I do so love your company’s snail plasma eye cream, and you mentioned that you can offer a discount. Would you really be able to provide that without difficulty? I promise not to take advantage.” And then make certain to keep that promise.
Dear Miss Manners: My nickname is a shortened version of my name. My family and closest friends have always called me by that nickname, which is fine. I think of it as a term of endearment.
The problem is that other people hear me respond to that nickname and then start using it, too. I really don’t like it. It seems much too familiar. How can I let it be known, without hurting feelings, that I prefer my unabbreviated name?
“Oh, Chrys is just a family nickname. Please call me Chrysanthemum.”
Dear Miss Manners: I often host parties and gatherings in my home, and I have a question regarding people who reply “Maybe” to my invitations. I understand that some people may have to check work schedules or find child care before they can offer a firm yes,but I’m finding a growing number of people who just won’t commit.
Lately I’ve been criticized by the noncommittal folks for not reinviting them when I don’t get a definitive response. I don’t feel that a second invitation is necessary when all the pertinent details have already been communicated. I think the onus is on the person who gave a vague reply to follow up, and that they should do so sooner rather than later. Am I wrong?
Chasing down guests who have already stated that they have commitment issues is not required. One might argue that it is rude, as they have already demonstrated that they prefer not to be bothered.
But if you continue to be reprimanded by noncommittal guests, Miss Manners gives you permission to say, “The specifics of the event have not changed. If your answer has, then please let me know. We would love to have you there.”
New Miss Manners columns are posted Monday through Saturday on washingtonpost.com/advice. You can send questions to Miss Manners at her website, missmanners.com. You can also follow her @RealMissManners.
