A woman has opened up about her struggles navigating parenthood as she admits to missing her “old life” which was filled with alone time and “watching Netflix”.
The new mum, whose daughter is now 10 months old, asked for advice on parenting forum Mumsnet she said she couldn’t “shake the feeling” of regret even though her baby is “lovely, sweet and independent”.
She opened up about her previously “peaceful” life, explaining how she was happy when she could work from home, have dinners and travel alone.
But now, her life has completely changed after giving birth to her daughter, saying she fears the “constant sense of responsibility” as well as having to be “alert” at all times.
Other parents reassured her and said things “will get better” eventually as she settles into motherhood.
Writing on Mumsnet, the unnamed mother said: “My baby is ten months old. I love her more than anything in the world. I constantly worry about something bad happening to her. She is a lovely, bright, happy, sweet, and quite an independent child.
“But I just can’t shake the feeling that I regret having her. I just want to go back to my old life. I had a quiet, peaceful, unexciting life, and that’s what I like.
“I’m a very introverted, self-contained person and I was always happy just being by myself, working from home, watching Netflix in the evenings, enjoying nature, having dinner out now and again. Maybe a holiday once in a while.”
She also urged other parents to share their experiences in the hopes someone will have felt a similar way.
She continued: “I don’t like parenting. I think it’s mainly the constant sense of responsibility, constantly having to entertain a baby, never being able to just sit and relax and do nothing all day, always having to be on alert.
“I know having an older child will bring its own difficulties, but I’m wondering if I’ll enjoy it more once I can reason with her a bit and she can entertain herself more?
“Or will I always regret the loss of my old life? Wondering what other people have found.
“I’ve read a few things from people with older children who still find it very hard and regret it! But maybe it’s because people find different things difficult.”
One person commented: “I’d like to say it gets easier as they get older, however both of mine are disabled. Had one healthy child that randomly developed a very serious disease at seven years old and now I can never switch off.
“It’s all part of parenting, you learn to take it in your stride as they get older that said they do get better at entertaining themselves”.
“It gets better!” stated another. They continued: “I found the baby age mind numbing because you are constantly on alert but never really doing anything you want to.
“Once you don’t have to watch every single thing they do, and they actually want to do quite fun things with you, it definitely gets better. Don’t get me wrong, long boozy brunches are a thing of the past, but you get much more of yourself back once they get to school age.”
