Wedding 'rules' from bride include removal of those who wear white or are disruptive: 'Very upset'


A bride’s clearly enunciated and quite clear collection of wedding “rules” ahead of her upcoming nuptials reportedly has offended some people — including her own grandmother, who told the bride that she’s “very upset” by the long list of rules that include specific guidance about guests’ attire, behavior and more. 

Now, after issuing her “rules,” the bride is seeking help and advice online — and a bit of consolation, too. 

Wrote the bride in a post on Reddit, “My husband and I have already eloped, and the ceremony is for our family who didn’t get to see it.”

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She said that included in her guidance for friends and family are these instructions: “This event will be held at a church, and semiformal attire is recommended. The wedding colors are blue, purple, light pink, champagne and black — and guests are invited but not required to join in dressing in these colors.”

She added on that point, “That is the color scheme and I wanted to include it in case anyone wanted to match, but I’ve already told people that if they wanted to wear a bright red dress or lime green tux, I really don’t care.”

Wedding reception outside in the backyard. Bride and groom with a family dancing.

A bride (not pictured) has upset some family and friends by instructing people about behavioral “rules” ahead of her big day. The bride’s grandmother “became very upset, saying it’s too many rules,” the bride said. (iStock)

In her “rules,” she also detailed, “A children’s area will be provided, and families are welcome to have their children in the area at any time during the day.”

She went on bluntly, “We do not have room for additional guests or plus-ones, sorry!”

The woman also wrote about her rules, “I made a copy for everyone attending but showed my grandma … first. She became very upset, saying it’s too many rules — but when I said that most of the slip was about the food, she told me that I’m being a b—- about the rules.” 

“No white attire, excluding shoes/accessories. Guests wearing white attire will be asked to leave or change.”

The woman also wrote in her directions to friends and family, “Please be mindful that the reception will mostly be outside (grass), so flats/sneakers are advised to be brought as well, for your comfort.”

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The bride also instructed invitees, “No white attire, excluding shoes/accessories. Guests wearing white attire will be asked to leave or change.”

On this point, she added, “If a refusal is made, the guest will be escorted from the event.”

couple holding hands

Wrote a bride to friends and family in a set of “rules” ahead of her wedding, “Children are expected to behave and not interrupt the ceremony/first dance. If a child is being disruptive, please take them outside for a breather.” (iStock)

Her rules went on: “Children are expected to behave and not interrupt the ceremony/first dance. If a child is being disruptive, please take them outside for a breather.”

She also said that at her wedding, there should be “no proposals [or] pregnancy announcements” by other people.

“Attempts” at this, she wrote, “will result in the guest(s) being removed from the event.”

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The bride also wrote in her information regarding food and drink, “McAlister’s will be provided: Mac n’ cheese, soup, salad, fruit, chips, variety sandwiches, brownies, and cookies. If you have any allergies or food intolerance, please let us know …”

She added, “Drinks will include water, lemonade, diet lemonade, sweet tea, unsweet tea, Coke, Diet Coke, Dr. Pepper, Diet Dr. Pepper, Sprite, Sprite Zero, and root beer.”

“If I received this invite I’d just stay home. Sorry …”

Apparently rethinking some things, the bride, who goes by the username CommercialCopy-7793 on Reddit, acknowledged in a later edit to her post that all was not well with her “instructions.”

She wrote, “I’m considering rewording some things (I feel like I worded it badly), and maybe separating it into 1 slip each — rules, food and driving directions.”

Fox News Digital reached out to an etiquette expert for insights and perspective.  

Family celebrating at wedding reception

Wrote one individual online about the bride’s “rules” ahead of her wedding, “You don’t have a laundry list of expected behavior and dress. It’s rude.” (iStock)

The wedding rules post to date has elicited some 2,600 reactions and 1,200 comments — with plenty of people calling out the bride for what they termed her rudeness.

Wrote one person about the bride’s instructions for her wedding, “If I received this invite I’d just stay home. Sorry, but holy cr–.”

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This person also noted that “grown adults … don’t need to be told what colors to wear or what shoes to have on. If kids misbehave at the event, you have a bridesmaid quietly handle the situation by showing them a place for the kids to calm down … You don’t have a laundry list of expected behavior and dress. It’s rude.”

“I don’t think you need to explain basic conduct at a wedding.”

Wrote another person, “Oh dear. [This is] offputting. I know you are probably trying to cover all your bases so your wedding goes ‘perfectly,’ but the way this is worded is so harsh.”

The same individual added, “I don’t think you need to explain basic conduct at a wedding, but if you really feel like you need to tell your guests what to do, make it nicer.”

Said another commenter — getting 1,000 “upvotes” for this response alone — “Your ‘rules’ read as if you [are] LOOKING for reasons to have your guests escorted out by security. Which does not give a ‘we are so excited to have you celebrate with us’ vibe.”

bride and groom together with flowers

Wrote one person directly to the bride, “This is entirely too much, and confusing as well — you have a recommended color scheme, but you’re actually fine with any color? Why even include that, then?” (iStock)

Said this same person, “However, if your goal is to cut down on attendees, proceed with your rules. If I read that, I’d strongly consider RSVP-ing ‘no’ so as to not deal with a bridezilla who’s looking for a way to kick me out.”

Wrote another person directly to the bride, “This is entirely too much, and confusing as well — you have a recommended color scheme, but you’re actually fine with any color? Why even include that, then?”

“If I got this as part of a wedding invitation, I would decline.”

This commenter continued, “The rules that actually seem to be rules are written in a rather insulting manner.”

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The commenter concluded with, “If I got this as part of a wedding invitation, I would decline — not because I couldn’t follow the rules, but because I’d be insulted that someone thinks I need all of this spelled out for me. Not to mention, if you’re inviting people who actually need these reminders, they’re not going to read those rules in the first place, much less follow them.”

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The person then added this final piece of advice to the bride: “Please ditch this whole idea.”

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