Son terrified of school 'was told parents could face prison' before autism diagnosis

Sasha’s son Tom, not his real name, had been a social child with lots of friends. But when he turned nine, he became anxious and began struggling with going to school. Mornings would be spent trying to pull him from the car kicking and screaming. In a desperate attempt to let him stay at home, Tom told his mum that he would throw himself off the school roof if she made him go to class. His absences culminated in Sasha and her husband being threatened with a fine with school staff telling Tom that they “could go to prison”, she said, sharing her “horrendous” experience with Express.co.uk. Two years later, Tom was diagnosed with autism. Thousands of parents across the country are going through heartbreakingly similar battles as their children “cannot, not will not” go to school because of the likes of special educational needs and disabilities.

After starting year six, the final year of primary school, he began to struggle with the changes made to his routine. However, when he was in school, he would “mask” how much he was struggling.

Sasha, of Bedfordshire, welled up as she told how her son got to the point where he “just couldn’t do it anymore” and began talking about “killing himself”.

On her phone, she has a “heartbreaking” video of Tom visibly upset, holding a bread knife to his throat in a moment of desperation.

She said: “He ran away from school and they were going to call the police. He threatened to throw him off the school roof; he was going to kill himself.

“It got to the point where I had to go and get somebody to help me get him out of the car. They would be trying to drag and pull him into the school which just didn’t work.”

Eventually, Tom stopped going to school — but this only made matters worse.

The Deputy head and another member of staff turned up at their house one day and informed them that she and her husband would be fined if Tom continued missing school, she recalled.

They then turned to Tom and told him that his parents would be put behind bars if his absence continued, Sasha said, a threat which left him “deeply traumatised”.

She continued: “They told him in front of me that they were going to get the police involved and that he has to go to school, it’s a legal requirement. They had come into our home, they threatened me and my son saying if you don’t come to school ‘Mummy and Daddy could go to prison’, saying we’re going to fine you, and then they just left.

“My son ran out of the house and hid away from them at the bottom of the garden. His trust in adults was broken. It must have taken him about a year and a half to feel at home again; he didn’t believe that we were not going to make him go to school again.”

From Easter to October last year, more than 71,000 fines, which begin at £60, were issued, costing parents an eyewatering total of £4million, according to the BBC. While some parents are threatened with fines, others are told they could be sent to jail for their child’s missing education.

READ MORE: Schools Bill sees ‘desperate’ parents facing fines or jail time

Two years later, Tom was diagnosed with autism. Sasha had thought this would mean they would be entitled to more help but this did not materialise. She then had to quit her job in order to care for him.

It took two more “awful” years of “fighting” and “jumping through hoops” for them to finally receive EOTAS, described as an educational provision for children with social, behavioural, and emotional well-being issues who, without its provision, cannot sustain access to suitable education.

Sasha is just one parent out of tens of thousands across the UK who have been threatened with fines and prosecution by the local authorities over school absences.

These parents are not willingly failing to send their children to school, instead, they feel the schooling system is failing their children.

Many of these kids are struggling with school attendance for a myriad of reasons, whether that be SEND, physical or mental illnesses, or bullying.

Campaigners from across the country today met in Westminster, central London, to deliver the  No School Fines petition — which has amassed a quarter of a million signatures — to Downing Street in a bid to stop parents already in an “impossible situation” from being threatened with “terrifying” fines.

The campaign was started by two mothers, Susan Liverman and Maddie Roberts, who are respectively in similar situations to Sasha and believe that parents should not be prosecuted when their children “can’t, not won’t go to school”.

Some parents are not able to fight the “horrendous” battle, Sasha said, meaning that their child does not get what they need and deserve.

Sabrina Orsini, an education specialist at Yellow Brick Education, has been teaching Tom while also helping him come out of his shell as he struggles with anxiety when leaving the house, something that affects the whole family.

But with Sabrina’s help over the past two years, Tom has gone from refusing to look at her to managing to go on a family holiday to Rome. She said: “It was massively emotional, it was incredible. We’ve gone from him not leaving the house to being out in the community.”

Tom is now “thriving” and working towards his Maths and English GCSEs. She added: “Families don’t know what their rights are, what their children are entitled to.”

A Government spokesperson said: “Every child deserves to have access to education that meets their needs. We work closely with schools, trusts, governing bodies, and local authorities to identify and support pupils who are at risk of becoming, or who are persistently absent and our guidance is clear that fines should only be used as a last resort.

“Our recent Improvement Plan will also reform the support system for children with Special Educational Needs and Disabilities, including prioritising earlier intervention.”

Improvement Plan policy aims to change the SEND and alternative provision system in England, according to the Department of Education’s website.

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