A dad has taken to social media to vent about his wife who he says is “easily irritated” and constantly overwhelmed.
Posting on popular Reddit form #AITA, the dad said that his wife is “constantly complaining” about how much there is to do every day with their three young children, but vented that it’s because her standards are too “high”.
He said that she told him they have to be up at around 6am each day to help their children get ready for school, but felt they are old enough to sort themselves out and gets upset when he opts not to, leaving her to be up herself every morning.
As well as this, he said that giving their children two hours a day of screen time is too strict, and although he agrees they should play outside or read he does not see an issue with them being on their phones until bedtime.
Continuing to complain about his wife’s rules he said her “rigid” way of thinking even causes issues on family days, and although he is an “active parent” he should not have to “dig” his wife out of holes she causes “herself”.
He said: “She is in a constant state of being overwhelmed and is very easily irritated, constantly complaining how it’s all too much. I’m of course happy to help and do my fair share for the kids or household, but it’s never enough because her standards are too damn high.
“She insists one of us has to be up at 6.45am every morning to make sure the kids are ready and make the bus which comes at 7.45am. I told her they’re old enough to not need that much help already.
“They can all dress themselves and pour themselves cereal and milk, there’s no reason we have to be up. She says that cereal isn’t a good enough breakfast, they need something more substantial, especially the 12-year-old, and that the 10-year-old who has ADHD will definitely struggle without help in the morning.
“She wants to see them off and kiss them goodbye for the day so she gets up, I don’t, then she gets upset that I never give her a morning off when all she needs to do is just take the morning off when she wants and let the kids handle themselves.”
The husband went on to say that his wife thinks he does not “support” her rules, disagreeing with things like screen time, and how the kids should spend their free time.
He said: “She is super strict about screen time during the week and is exhausted and snappy from arguing about it with the kids, and upset I don’t support her strict limit of two hours a day. I say as long as homework is done, why not until bed?
“She says it’s not healthy for them, they need to play outside or with games and toys, read some books, just entertain themselves in more ways than one.”
He said that he agrees with her when it comes to enjoying more than just their screen but feels the “rigid” limit is too strict.
When they do have family days out, he said she complains about the day’s plan and one of their children who gets “grouchy” by the end of it.
He said: “She also likes to get out on weekends and do stuff like zoos and museums but then complains about the planning for the outing and how grouchy the youngest gets by the end of it, and again, I say let’s just chill at home and voila, you’ve cut the work!
“I’m an engaged and active parent, I’m not trying to get out of it, but I don’t think I should have to help my wife dig herself out of her own self-created holes. She creates the stress for herself and then turns to me to alleviate it which I think is unfair.
His post was inundated with responses, gaining over 8,000 upvotes, and more than 5,000 comments.
One person said: “Your wife’s standards are just being a decent parent, and you are not doing your ‘fair share’ if you aren’t helping with these things you consider ‘unnecessary’.
“An eight-year-old and a 10-year-old with ADHD are not ready to totally get themselves ready in the morning, and you’d know that if you didn’t sleep through the morning routine every day. Two hours of screen time a day is a totally reasonable boundary.
“And family time and enriching activities are also important. Maybe those can be cut down slightly, but ‘just chill at home’ all the time isn’t the answer either. Stop being lazy and become an actually engaged parent like your wife is.”
While a second said: “ It is 100 per cent neglect to let children those ages try to fend for themselves in the early morning trying to get ready for school.”
