A mum has divided opinion by saying she just wants her adult sons to “b****r off” after they moved back into the family home. The fed up mother took to parenting forum Mumsnet to ask fellow users if she was being unreasonable to want the children she loves to move out.
KatieBenz wrote: “I love my kids, I just wish they would b****r off and let me and and husband enjoy life. Two home now. 27 and 23. I’m so done with this.”
She explained one of her sons has returned home after university while the second, middle son, was back in the area so had moved in too.
The exasperated mum said both sons earn an “ok” wage but are unable to rent a place of their own for less than £850.
She wrote: “Love them, but just want them to b****r off. Me and DH [Darling Husband] deserve that. We’ve had a horrible couple of years.”
User Dacadactyl wrote in response: “If they were mine I’d want there to be clear plans for them to move out once they’d saved enough for a deposit.
“And they’d have to be saving like mad… so no nails, no car (unless absolutely essential for work) no gym, no holidays, limited social life etc. Are they paying you rent?”
MeMyCatsAndMyBooks added: “I’d be setting a deadline for the eldest, and asking how much they’ve saved to move out.”
xyz111 shared their experience, writing: “When I broke up with my ex, I moved back in with my dad. I was 29. I would have been lost if it wasn’t for him. But I paid my way, wasn’t there much when I then met my new partner and moved out as soon as we could afford it. I think you need to have a conversation as to what the plan is for the future and then support them achieve that.”
Others expressed sympathy for the sons due to the current cost of living, high interest rates and house prices. The average UK house price in June was £262,239, according to Nationwide Building Society.
The High Street lender said a 10 percent deposit on a typical first-time buyer home is equal to around 55 percent of gross annual income.
On Mumsnet, the disgruntled parent wrote: “We are in the SE (south east). The rents are ridiculous. You can get a new build on a £30k+ income, but you won’t own the whole house.
“I am so sad at their situation but I’m also p***** off that we (me and my DH who is 63!) still have children at home. It sucks.”
Mumsnet user ohtowinthelottery replied: “26 year old living here. Every time interest rates go up I see them staying even longer.
“This situation is likely to become more common in the current economic climate, I fear.
“Almost impossible for a single person on an average wage to buy a property and renting is just an expensive way of ensuring they can’t afford to save for a deposit to buy.”
But Dacadactyl said: “They may have to consider moving further away. I moved away from the SE because I wanted to be a SAHM (stay at home mum) and a homeowner and couldn’t have afforded to do both on one wage in the SE.”
Despite the support shown for the mother, some Mumsnet users sympathised with the sons.
Avondale89 said: “Surely there isn’t much parenting to be done at their ages? Can you not have a discussion as a family re. sharing the load in the home and giving each other privacy if that’s the issue?”
Livelovebehappy chimed in: “Why can’t you still enjoy life with them at home? I have adult dc (darling child) at home, but me and dh still go off for holidays/gigs/meals/cuddle up on sofa watching TV.
“Unless you want to walk round the house naked or have sex on the rug, then them being home shouldn’t have an impact on you just doing what you do?”
