A mother has gone online to ask for advice about how to tell her daughter, 30, that that her brother is actually her father.
The anonymous woman wrote to The Atlantic’s Dear Therapist column to try and work out how to tell her daughter the shocking news.
The woman explained that her husband had had two children of his own and she had had none when they got married.
The couple reportedly “both wanted to have a child together”, but there turned out to be a complication.
Her husband had had a vasectomy so the couple had to try something else.
What they decided to do was use the woman’s husband’s son as a sperm donor.
The woman wrote: “We didn’t want to use a sperm bank, so we asked my husband’s son to be the donor.
“We felt that was the best decision: Our child would have my husband’s genes, and we knew my stepson’s health, personality, and intelligence. He agreed to help.”
The woman added: “Our daughter is 30 now. How do we tell her that her “father” is her grandfather, her “brother” is her father, her “sister” is her aunt, and her “nephew” is her half-brother?
“My husband and I are anxious, confused, and worried about telling her.”
She also said that her husband is anxious “because he wants our daughter to know that he will always and forever be her father.”
In response, the qualified psychotherapist and columnist Lori Gottlieb said there were two truths their daughter would have to face.
She said that her daughter would not only have to face the fact that her brother was her father but that her parents had lied to her for three decades.
Ms Gottlieb then offered advice about how to broach the delicate and life-changing subject.
She said it was essential to “state the facts as simply and clearly as possible” before apologising.
She also said the mum should “take full responsibility for not telling her [daughter] the truth from the beginning”.
Ms Gottlieb added that it was important for the woman to talk “as little as possible” and prioritise the thoughts of her daughter.
The last thing Ms Gottlieb said was to warn the mother that the brother should be told the information too in case he decides to have a family of his own.
