He feels that since we have been married for 26 years, he does not need to “date” me any longer and that I can handle things myself. Of course I can handle things myself, but I got married to have a partner to walk through life beside me.
Please tell me, should a husband accompany his wife from the car to the destination?
And he should also quickly be dispelled of the notion that he does not have to treat you with respect — which is what “not dating you” anymore really means. Miss Manners recommends that you have a stern chat with him about what it means to be a good partner. That is, if he wants to keep his.
Dear Miss Manners: What is the etiquette about eating candy or breath mints when in public, please? Is it rude not to share?
It is all right if you do so discreetly. But you may want to consider the quality of your companions’ breath before you make any binding decisions regarding sharing.
Dear Miss Manners: My father lives far away from me, and since he typically isn’t around on my birthday, he gives me gifts in person or by mail before the day arrives. I always thank him when I receive the gift, then I place it away until my birthday. At that point, I open it and then call to thank him.
Father always expresses surprise that I wait until my birthday to open the gift, and says he doesn’t mind if I open it the day I receive it, as my siblings do theirs. I think (and have told him) that it’s improper and impolite to open a birthday gift before the day itself unless there is a pressing need.
Can Miss Manners settle our disagreement? Who is correct?
Once a present is delivered to its recipient, it is entirely up to that person how and when to open it.
But just between us, Miss Manners is in agreement with you. Birthdays have a date for a reason, and if we are all going to just celebrate them willy-nilly whenever we want, what is the point of that date?
Where she differs with you, however, is in your telling your father and siblings that they are being rude for behaving otherwise. That, she is afraid, is also up to them.
New Miss Manners columns are posted Monday through Saturday on washingtonpost.com/advice. You can send questions to Miss Manners at her website, missmanners.com. You can also follow her @RealMissManners.
