The life of a child in the Royal Family is undoubtedly one of contradictions. Naturally they are born into extreme wealth and privilege, but at the price of being thrust into the spotlight before they are old enough to understand what is going on.
Turn away from royal life and they risk being shunned by the rest of the family, but by accepting their royal responsibilities they must realise that their life will never be entirely their own.
The greatest example of this dichotomy is of course Prince Harry, whose memoir Spare lays out in excruciating detail his troubled personal life as his family’s ‘spare’, with young Prince Louis already set to fill his uncle’s shoes as the fun younger brother to the heir Prince George.
But for the young princes and their sister Princess Charlotte, history may avoid repeating itself thanks to the care their parents have taken to ensure a more normal childhood can be enjoyed by their brood.
The life of a royal may never be like anyone else’s but the monarchy’s approach to parenting has thankfully adapted itself to one that puts the family first, rather than the Firm.
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Parenting in the Royal Family and the aristocracy in general was for many years a hands-off affair, indeed Queen Elizabeth and Prince Philiip would have thought nothing of leaving their children for months at a time while they embarked on royal tours.
They even lived in Malta together for a time due to Philip’s naval career, while young Prince Charles and Princess Anne remained in England – Charles even said in his biography in 1994 that his mother was “distant” and it was the nursery staff who taught him to play.
In the last few decades attitudes have undoubtedly changed, so much so that Princess Kate and Prince William have been criticised for shirking their public duties in favour of being with their children more.
By choosing to spend school holidays strictly at home, making sure at least one of them is there for big events (such as George’s upcoming exams) and by openly putting their family first Kate and William are laying the foundations for a strong future monarchy, demonstrating how important it is to feel loved and supported by those closest to you.
Coming from a strong family unit herself, admittedly without the pressures of being royal, the Princess is a prime example of how having the right people in your corner is crucial to prepare oneself for such a public role – no matter what happens, her parents will have her back.
The cautionary tale here is of course Harry, who wrote in his autobiography how his father struggled to be there for his sons after the unexpected death of their mother.
He recalled: “He wasn’t great at showing emotions under normal circumstances, how could he be expected to show them in such a crisis? But his hand did fall once more on my knee and he said: It’s going to be OK. That was quite a lot for him. Fatherly, hopeful, kind. And so very untrue.”
The Duke admits that Charles seemed unprepared for being a single parent, even though he tried his best to support his “darling boy” through all the foibles of youth.
Princess Diana herself famously pushed for her boys to have a taste of a more normal life, treating them to McDonald’s and days out at Thorpe Park, yet how could they achieve that when their parents’ divorce was so painfully played out around the world?
This is not to blame Diana and Charles or criticise how they raised their sons, but thanks to the Spare debacle the Waleses will learn how to best bring up George, Charlotte and Louis as individuals with their own unique needs and places in the world.
It will still be a tricky balancing act for Kate and William between royal duties and the needs of their children, and they must ensure that Louis and Charlotte do not feel like’ spares’ themselves next to George.
As the eldest big decisions about George’s future are already being made, such as which school is best suited for a future King, but precious family time at home means Louis and Charlotte will hopefully not feel forgotten about.
Crucially they are treated as individuals in their own right with their own interests, for example Kate and William took Charlotte the the Commonwealth Games last year without her brothers so she could enjoy watching the women’s hockey and netball.
It’s no bad thing for Louis to relax and be the cheeky baby of the family, as in every family people have their roles, but the critical thing is that his mother and father never neglect to make each of their children feel special and supported.
By showing the world proudly that family comes first, no matter what accusations may come their way, the Prince and Princess are certainly in the right track.
