Dad ducks out of his son's wedding early, then wonders what he's done wrong: 'I love them both'


A family’s wedding drama shared on Reddit has kicked off quite the conversation.

A man described what happened at his own son’s wedding — and now has asked others on social media for their thoughts. 

“My son, Alan (26M), has just recently gotten married to Helen (25-26F),” the man wrote, though he did not share his location or other personal details.

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“I love them both very much,” he said. 

“It’s relevant to mention that I really dislike parties and large gatherings, I’m not sociable at all and I really just dislike them,” he added on the subreddit known as “AITA” (“Am I the a–hole”). 

bride and groom holding hands

A father of the groom wrote on Reddit that he felt it was “a downer” when he heard that his son and new daughter-in-law were “going to have a wedding with around 150 people.” (iStock)

“So it was kind of a downer when I heard that Alan and Helen were going to have a wedding with around 150 people,” he wrote. 

Once he learned the size of the wedding they were planning, the father said he told his son “ahead of time that I would probably leave early — and that [the dad] and the rest of our family would take two cars so that they could stay if they wanted to.” 

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Added the father about his son, “He looked like he didn’t mind at the time.”

“After the ceremony I basically told him that I was glad and it looked great, but I was going to go home.”

However, at the actual wedding — that’s when things changed dramatically, the Reddit writer indicated.

“At the wedding itself, after the ceremony I basically told him that I was glad and it looked great, but I was going to go home,” wrote the father.

He said his son, the groom, “asked if I was going to at least stay for cake or for food, but the food didn’t look all that appetizing to me, so I told him I was just going to leave.”

The man said his son replied, “All right, whatever, just go” — and then the father said he “went back to my table to get my stuff.”

Wedding drama

After a father left his son’s wedding early, the two men spoke about it — and “he basically started berating me, too,” wrote the father of his disappointed and newly married son.  (iStock)

The situation further deteriorated.

“I told my wife and she said she didn’t feel comfortable driving back alone (the venue was very far from us and the roads there were not great). I said in that case she should come with me, and after some hemming and hawing she agreed. So we left,” wrote the father.

“He was very upset for the rest of the night.”

But two days later, wrote the father, his son’s new wife “bombarded me and my wife with messages that she was disgusted with us, saying horrible things about us and insulting us as people and as parents.”

It was “really just sickening,” the father wrote. 

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He said, “I told her off and asked why she thought it was OK to talk to her [new] in-laws like that, and she said that us leaving ‘ruined’ the wedding for Alan and that he was very upset for the rest of the night.” 

The father added, “She continued to berate us. I politely told her to leave us alone and called Alan, mainly to inform him that his wife had a temper that he should know about.”

exchange of rings at wedding

The top “upvoted” comment on the Reddit thread about the wedding drama between a father of the groom and the newly married couple is this: “You didn’t even stay for the meal that they’d paid for. What an absolutely disgusting lack of love and respect from you as a parent.” (iStock)

The man on Reddit added, “When we talked about it, he basically started berating me, too, and said things like, ‘You always do this,’ and ‘Just leave me alone,’ before hanging up.”

Wrote the father further, “I feel like I’m justified since I told him ahead of time that I wasn’t going to stay.”

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He then asked others on the platform if he was in the wrong for his actions. 

To date, 15,000 people have reacted — with nearly 3,000 people sharing comments. 

“Your son had no parents present at his reception.”

Fox News Digital reached out to a New York City-based psychologist for insights.

Meanwhile, the top “upvoted” comment on the Reddit thread is this: “You didn’t even stay for the meal that they’d paid for. What an absolutely disgusting lack of love and respect from you as a parent.”

This commenter went on, “You also strong-armed your wife into leaving, too, so your son had no parents present at his reception.”

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Another commenter wrote to the father, “You need therapy for this level of antisocial behavior, especially since you don’t even seem to understand why you’re in the wrong.”

Yet another person wrote, in part: “The fact that he’s telling you ‘you always do this’ strongly suggests that this recent blow-up isn’t just about the wedding, but, ignoring that, this is one of the most important days in your son’s life so far, and you couldn’t even be bothered to stick around for the toast?”

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The man added to his post — after seeing some of the reaction from others — “Edit, since so many people care about the details: Yes there was a mother-son dance planned. Yes, he included me in the count for the food costs. Yes, I love him. No, this does not mean that I do not care about him.”

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